Paw filled love

Whitey and Blacky were my furry siblings. Here’s a letter I wish I could have read to them.

Dear Whitey and Blacky,

I know you can’t read this. I wish I could have read this letter to you both and you definitely would have appreciated it. Just like you appreciated a lot many things. Never really could tell if you understood everything I told you. It’s been a few years since you both left us but the void you left in my heart is hard to fill. I miss you every single day.

Every time I tell people about you, I tell them how we were a family of 6 and that you were my siblings. You came into our lives when I was just eleven years old back in 2004 and I couldn’t have imagined how important you’d become. Every moment with you was special, every moment brought joy and happiness.

Thank you for always welcoming me like it was the best thing in your day. Your tails wagging with such vigor just to make sure I knew how happy you were. In a complicated world where people aren’t as direct with their emotions, your tail was direct and yet so wonderful. Wagging fast – happy and excited, between your legs – scared, high and straight – interested and paying attention. Simple, right? If humans had such a direct way of communicating, we would definitely be living in a better world. No one could hide or misunderstand anything.

We shared such a strong relationship. Who says language is a barrier? We were able to look into each other’s souls and know exactly what we felt. Many say that the best relationship is shared between those who can sit in silence comfortably and not have the need to say a single word. By those measures, I would say we shared the best relationship. Blacky, every time someone at home was sick, you’d be right next to them and make sure they weren’t alone. And, that kind of caring is extremely hard to come by. Whitey, you always made me wonder whether you liked children playing with you or you were just too lazy to walk away. Nonetheless, everyone who came home fell in love with your soft eyes and composure. Even Grandpa who wasn’t the biggest fan of dogs fell in love with you both after spending time at home.

Those eyes would make my heart swell and smile even when I came back from a hard day at school. You were my escape and port key to a world where love wins all. While I thought you both were the wisest beings in the world, one of you would go hide that dog biscuit in the pots or would roll in dirt and walk right into the house like nothing else mattered. Is that how you tried to throw me off your trail?

You got even the most dignified person like my dad to talk to you in silly adorable voices. Thank you for getting me to pause and just breathe. I know you stayed with us as a choice since you both were never on the leash and you could have left any time. In the process, showing me what loyalty means.

When I decided which university I would be attending in the Fall of 2014 you were one of the first I told because I still didn’t know how I could live 9000 miles away from you both. Whitey, I sometimes wonder if this was why you left us so I didn’t have to worry exactly a month before my departure date.

Blacky, you changed so much after Whitey left us and I completely understand why. None of us at home were ourselves after that. Being in the US was the hardest since I didn’t have you to come back to. Every trip to India was special and heart breaking knowing you were growing older. I always wished dogs could talk but even more I wished you could live longer. It hurt me the most knowing I couldn’t just hop on a flight and be there if you needed me. And, then it happened. You fell sick and were in so much pain. As much as I wanted you to recover I didn’t want you to suffer at all. I felt my whole world fall apart that day in 2017.

Even though it’s been a year and a half now, I still can’t come to make sense of it. Oh, Whitey and Blacky, you’ll never know how much I loved you two. How I wish you were here today and every day. Thank you for adopting me in your life and showering me with unconditional love. The memories you gave me will last forever.

Forever in your debt,
Sanjana

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